I saw some Johnny Depp movie a week or so ago. It kind of sucked, but whatever. It allowed me to realize that Depp's acting, while highly prized and rewarded, is actually a real lusterless turd -- even one so foul, it sinks and sneaks out of sight, ashamed. Well, no, he isn't that bad, but for all the recognition he's received, he deserves an extra special slap in the face for being such a poor actor in reality.
In order to capture Depp's acting, all we need is a typical picture of him doing his thing out in France or whatever country that allows him to live his life as pretentiously and ostentatiously as possible, all the while hypocritically demonizing Hollywood, the industry which supports his absurd lifestyle.
Ah, perfect Johnny, you are a handsome man with the facial hair of an 8th grade Puerto Rican kid. Now, your new movie role of this year will change by adding a hat, keep the sunglasses and the cigarette, and changing the backdrop to the appropriate context. I don't care if this is a movie about the French Revolution and sunglasses hadn't been invented yet! Leave the glasses on and give this guy a sexy ass car that goes with that facial hair!
We have a summer blockbuster on our hands. Depp always plays the same character, himself. It's time for us to stop celebrating this laureled Nicholas Cage. All Johnny Depp does is wear a different hat, and we pretend he's actually being a different character -- he's just being himself with a different hat! And my problem clearly is that at least Cage knows he's a loser and will be in any movie he's offered, but Depp things he's above Hollywood. Thespian? More like ugly mustachioed lesbian that won't make out on the Girls Gone Wild bus. Yeah, rhyming is more important than the semantics, even the syntax of your sentences. You learn that in the hard school of blog writing knocks.
If you want to pretend you're above us, you need to move outside of Nicholas Cage's school of acting, Depp.